


the strength to let go

by Beeee



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 06:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beeee/pseuds/Beeee
Summary: *KHIII spoilersRiku deals with losing Sora. His anger starts leading him down a path he never wanted to go down again.





	the strength to let go

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by The Strength to Let Go by Switchfoot.
> 
> Listen, I didn't think I was going to write again so soon but I was listening to the new Switchfoot album and s few songs gave me such KH feels. This song in particular gave me such a strong image of Riku and I wish I could draw to like bring some of this to life but writing it out will have to do! This is the first one of a couple that I have planned. I also needed to write this because that ending bummed me out. I also needed Kairi because what the hell, right? Like they did my girl dirty. 
> 
> Anyway, Riku and Kairi are good friends too, okay? And as much as I love Sora/Riku, I also love the friendship these three have. 
> 
> Also do people still write disclaimers? Because I'm not making money off of this, it's just for fun lol.

He struggled with acceptance.

Acceptance of himself and of his situations. He had a bad track record with it. Instead of accepting, he pushed and pushed until he got to the point where he was backed against a wall. He needed to cope better.

He needed to learn to let go.

Riku knew that knowing this about himself didn’t change it and he really couldn’t be blamed that watching his best friend fade away made him a little irrational. He hadn’t known what to do. He barely believed it. 

How could Sora just be gone? 

But once he took another breath, he was running. Across the ocean and up on the little island to their palm tree. Kairi was sobbing and Riku couldn’t do anything else other than hold her and cry with her. There was a beach of reunited people but he and Kairi were fractured with little hope for repair now. 

~

They’d spent weeks now, all of the wielders and Riku, searching various worlds for any sign of Sora. He plunged himself into the Dark Realm along with Lea and Roxas hoping that there would be any sign his best friend had been there. 

He’d met with Yen Sid a dozen times trying to find a lead to point them into the right direction but the Master had shaken his head and asked Riku to be patient, that this was unprecedented and Riku wanted to punch him in the face.

Everything Sora had done was unprecedented. Riku doubted anyone had cared the way Sora did. There was no way in hell Riku would ever let go of him.

He’d made various trips into the Darkness with various wielders and each time he’d felt like he was running into a wall. Yen Sid kept telling him they had to change their approach but Riku had only become bitter and angry as more time passed. 

He could feel the darkness sticking to him each time he walked back into the Dark. Kairi was giving him increasingly concerned looks but Riku ignored her. No, he wasn’t angry at her. How could he be? She was his best friend too and it wasn’t her fault in the least…but he didn’t have time to address her concern. He had to save Sora. 

~

He’d collapsed during a battle with a very persistent shadow. One minute he was fighting and the next his world was spinning and Ventus was screaming his name. 

He was standing on a stained-glass window of himself. He’d gotten to the point where he questioned nothing anymore because all this might as well happen. 

“I thought you believed in me.”

Riku spun quickly to see Sora standing behind him. Not teenager Sora but five-year-old Sora.  
He was just like Riku remembered him. Absolutely sweet and innocent with those sandals that tripped him too many times to count. 

“I do. There’s no one I believe more.”

“Then why are you trying so hard to find the wrong way?”

“The wrong way?”

“Yeah. I thought you were smart.”

“Excuse me?” Riku raised an eyebrow. How dare little imaginary Sora sass him?

He giggled, “Well, you’re not doing a very good job and at this rate, you’re gonna be more lost than me.”

“So what do I do if you’re so smart?”

“Are you angry at me, Riku?” Sora didn’t pout or cry like he would. He simply looked at him with big blue eyes.

“No. Of course not.”

“You’re lying, Riku.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Sora, I’m not lying. I don’t lie especially not to you.”

Sora grinned, “Well, you think this is in your heart so you’re not lying to me, you’re lying to yourself and you’re pretty good at that.”

“Sora.” Riku dropped to his knees then because the sheer honesty from the mouth of his little best friend killed him.

He felt a little hand pat his head, “Riku, it’s okay to be mad at me. I left you again. We’re always chasing each other, aren’t we?”

“Yeah. I’m so tired, Sora. So tired of chasing each other. I just want to be together whether it’s in the Darkness or on the Islands.”

“Hmm, me too. Do you know why I left to get Kairi? I knew that there was a big chance I wasn’t coming back.”

“Because it’s what you do. You save everyone no matter what.”

“Yeah,” He smiled and placed small hands on both of Riku’s cheeks. “but I also knew that you believed in me and that if anything happened I believed that you would come find me. A little selfish, huh?”

“No, not selfish, just true.”

“I should expect you to come save me.”

“But I will. All the time. Every time.”

“You cling, Riku. To me. To Kairi. To the need to protect. You have to let go. Believing is trusting. You have to trust that I’m okay.”

“What if you aren’t? What if you’re gone and I can’t save you? I can’t do this without you.” Riku was staring into the little face and crying. It had been a while since he’d cried about Sora. He hadn’t had time. 

“How can you find me when you doubt that I’m even there to find?”

“I-I…”

“Riku, I forgive you being angry at me. I forgive you for hating me, even for a second, for leaving you again. I’m still here in your heart. You believed in me and I believe in you. I believe that your kind and sweet. I believe that you are capable of loving so fiercely that you can’t even imagine letting go. But you can let go. Let go of the anger and the guilt because that’s how you’ll find me. Believe that even though you let go, I’ll still come back to you because you are my home. Your lights guided me this far.”

“I’m so sorry.” Riku was sobbing now and Sora hugging his face to him because it was all he could reach. “I’m so sorry I doubted you. I was angry. I was furious that I let you go after Kairi by yourself but I did believe in you. I believed you’d come home.”

“I know.” Sora patted his head and pulled away. “I know that I’m loved, Riku. By you and everyone else. It what keeps me going.”

Riku stood up, wiped away the tears, and picked Sora up to hug him. “I miss you so much. I’ll find you, I promise.”

“But you have to come back with me. There’s not point if you get lost.”

“We’ll both come back. We’re in this life together. Whatever else may come, we’ll face it together. No more running away. ”

“Uh huh, that sounds like my Riku.” Riku laughed at that and pressed a kiss to the other’s chubby cheek. 

“So are you a fiction of my imagination?” 

“I don’t know. I’m five!” They both burst into laughter.

~

There was a bright light and Riku began to feel a soft, warm hand running through his hair. He forced his eyes to open and the blurry image of Kairi came into view.

“Oh, thank goodness!” Kairi pressed her forehead to his and even though his head exploded, he couldn’t bring himself to push her away. “Riku, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.” Riku felt her tears falling on to his cheeks and his heart broke. He’d hurt her in his blind need to save his friend. 

“You should be. How dare you?” She backed off and wiped her tears. Riku sat up and opened his mouth to answer her but she shut him up. “No, listen to me. I want Sora back too. I feel guilt and yes, I know that’s silly, I didn’t ask to get killed to further some man’s evil plans and the hero’s story but Riku, I won’t lose you either. This isn’t a trade system. I think you and Sora are a little confused about that. I want BOTH my best friends back. Not just Sora and not just you. I want us to be together to lay on the beach like bums or go on adventures but I want you both for my entire lifetime. Do you understand that? Yes or no?”

Riku nodded, “Yes.”

“Okay, good. We’re not gonna stop looking for Sora but we’re gonna do it intelligently. No more recklessly running around in the Dark. I know you’re desperate and I know that you don’t know what patience is but don’t think I haven’t noticed how the darkness sticks to you. You need to keep your light pure. You have a lot of it, Riku, it shouldn’t be so hard.”

“Thank you.” Riku smiled at her because she was amazing. “You are a great friend and I think it is silly that you feel guilty because, not that you’re not special because you are, but Sora would have gone after anybody. It’s who he is. We know that. He hasn’t changed, Kairi. I hope he never will.”

“Oh, I know. It doesn’t hurt my feelings or anything.” She wiped fake tears from her face and Riku laughed. “Now that I like even more. You have such a nice laugh. I miss it. I’m tired.”

“Yeah, me too. So tired.” Riku sighed. “I can’t believe I passed out in front of Aqua, Terra and Ventus. How embarrassing.”

“Terra carried you like a baby.”

“That’s even worse. Why would you tell me that?” Riku cringed. Kairi laughed at him.

“ ‘Cus it was cute.” 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes as Kairi handed Riku a glass of water.

“I have to go back in there, Kai. I have to being him home. He’s tired too.”

“I know. I just wish you didn’t think you had to do it alone.” Kairi sighed and Riku reached out to hold her hand. 

“You can’t come with me but I’m not alone. After I go in there, Sora and I are going to need a light to guide us home. I know it’s not what you want. I get your need to fight but if we’re all over there…would we really have a reason to come back?”

“No, I guess not.” She squeezed his hand and pouted. “Fine. But when you guys come back we’re stealing the Gummi ship and traveling everywhere.”

Riku grinned, “Deal.” 

~

Riku remained under the care of Queen Minnie in Disney Castle for a couple of days before Mickey allowed him to go anywhere. Seriously, the little king barely let him leave the castle grounds. 

He went back into the Darkness but this time it seemed calm. There was peace in his heart as he fought through heartless. He could almost feel a semblance of a path as he walked. He was accompanied by Lea and Roxas this time. 

“Dead end.” Roxas commented as they got to a cliff. 

“Literally. That swirling vortex of Darkness doesn’t look good.” Lea added.

Riku stared down at the vortex and felt a pull. That’s where he needed to go. 

“I’m jumping.” Riku announced.

The two friends turn to look at him with their mouths open. It was Lea who spoke first.

“Um, yeah, no. I know you’re distraught with grief, I feel ya, but no, no you’re not. Mickey would turn me back into a nobody if I lost you.”

“What makes you think that’s a good idea?” He and Roxas had made big strides in their friendship in a couple of weeks. 

“I feel like I have to.”

“Sure. Makes sense.” Lea said sarcastically. “Those vortexes are unstable and no one knows where they go. Other worlds or hell, either way, not a risk worth taking.”

“Every risk is worth taking.” Riku smiled. This was terrifying but he knew that it’s what he had to do. He believed it. 

Roxas looked at him for a moment and nodded, “Okay.”

“Okay!? Roxas are you insane. Riku, we can’t let you do that.” Lea argued but Roxas stood between them.

“We have to let him go.” Roxas said definitively. Lea sighed and didn’t look convinced. 

“Fine but you’re telling Mickey and Kairi.”

Riku smiled and turned. He stared down at the vortex and even though it was pitch black, he could almost sense a light at the end of it. Wherever it went, he knew it would be closer to Sora. 

He took a deep breath and dived off of the cliff. 

_Oh, love, light the way home_  
Light up my soul  
I choose mercy instead of control  
My life is on loan  
Forgive and let go  
I embrace a belief I don't know  
What a beautiful sound  
To lay your life down  
Your forgiveness is where I am found  
Here in your arms  
I finally let down  
I am lightning, and you are the ground 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, and thanks for all the love on my other works! It warms my soul!


End file.
